moments, etc.

My name is Megan.
I've got a mind; I use it.
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but on the bright side I could buy a payphone for inside my home (of course I’m gonna have to also get a landline number) for only $25 A MONTH hahahahaa

in case i have a friend over and they’re like, “oh wow, thats a cool…thing you got there.”

and i’ll be like, “it works. you can put a quarter in it and PAY for a single call. to like anywhere 

and friend is like, “no way”

and i’m like put a quarter in it.

so my friend does, and then we prank call people in the phone book all the live long day until friend is like, “it’s late, i should head home.” 

I nod.

friend fidgets with my home pay phone. “where’s my quarter?”

and as I push friend out the door, i say, “thanks for the quarter!”

because it’s not a real payphone. it’s a payphone shaped BANK.

didn’t see that coming did ya?

I am NOT watching the Cortana v Siri advertisement because my new, huge, awesome WINDOWS PHONE, installed updates but then told me to upgrade for Cortana, SAID IT COULDN’T, and now I have a phone that won’t stop restarting itself with a black screen…or something. My phone is essentially a huge rectangular vibrator right now ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

omg

I am old. I know I am old because I received a catalogue in the mail today. They have some, uh, endearing products.

I know it’s NOT a competition, but these two white boys from Florida are neck and neck for most boring Facebook updates ever. It is a mean race to the finish line too, wow.

the internet is sacred

i’m really bad about getting excited for things prematurely (my mother recognized this at a young age and always said, “don’t get excited, it might not happen, but…”)

….but, here I go again with a very exciting prospect (for something I’m actually qualified for?) Ugh I’m so mad at myself that I can’t keep these things to myself until they’re true.

vivremo:

theteejcreed:

May this haunt your dreams forever

goddammit TJ

you may very well regret this

vivremo:

theteejcreed:

May this haunt your dreams forever

goddammit TJ

you may very well regret this

Asker yrfriendliz Asks:
what is your favorite part of your new routine, out of college, living the day-to-day stuff?
meganomalous meganomalous Said:

A week ago it would have been my internship but now it’s definitely dancing. Behind the hostess stand, all around my apartment when no one is home, on my way to the corner store, occasionally at a night club. I’ve been very into grooving along.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
what's the point of living?
meganomalous meganomalous Said:

Orgasms. Or love, idk.

it’s been an awfully slow night at work~

(via gregcantspell)

smartgirlsattheparty:

Get Your Hair Wet!!

ooh, this is giving me inspiration

i’ve been (i won’t say failing—oops) uh, not exactly succeeding at the things i keep putting effort into, and it’s discouraging to say the least. and i’m aware this is not the end of the world or anything, even when it feels like it is. anyway, what i’m getting at is my self-care this week has been mostly watching Grey’s Anatomy and having sexy time in my dreams which is pathetic to a degree, but we all do what we have to. and, it’s just rough is all, but things are quieting down a little bit, and I’VE GOT ONE HAND IN MY POCKET AND THE OTHER ONE IS GIVING A HIGH FIVE

kittiezandtittiez:

Sometimes when I say “I’m okay”, what I really want is for someone to hold my hand, look me in the eyes and say “I know that you’re not okay, here is $1000.00”.

(via gayass-ex-machina)

Had a dream I was about to bone Dr. Jackson Avery but he didn’t bring a condom and he LITERALLY* came out of no where, I wasn’t prepared.

*not literally

Had a dream I was about to bone Dr. Jackson Avery but he didn’t bring a condom and he LITERALLY* came out of no where, I wasn’t prepared.

*not literally